Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
