I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
