if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
