i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
