I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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