Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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