Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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