I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
