seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
They took my balls.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
