But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
