I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
