He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
