Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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