This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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