I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
