but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
