If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
