Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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