You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
