Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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