If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
pray to the hookup gods
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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