Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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