Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
