exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
