I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
