just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
