the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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