I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
