Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
