direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
