I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
