If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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