then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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