Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
