you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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