This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
