he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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