we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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