Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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