the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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