Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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