PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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