Can i not drive my cunt home
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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