I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
