Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
