Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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