she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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