I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
