I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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