He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
