I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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