Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
