party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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