Do you still have your period?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
