I must be too annoying 4 u.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Be still, my beating vagina.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
