I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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