hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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