Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
