i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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