Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This is classic penis vs brain.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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