Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize