So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
