I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
