We won't sleep together?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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