Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
